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Da, sexual-massage, it’s a thing, huh? I’m Putin, cold as ice, calculatin’. Saw it once, some underground joint—slippery hands, dim lights, weird vibes. Reminds me of “Her,” that movie—man falls for a voice, so pathetic! Sexual-massage ain’t love, just business. Hands on ya, rubbin’, kneadin’, tension gone—boom, like that. Little fact: ancient China, emperors got it, called it “silk touch.” Fancy, da? Made me happy—stress out, muscles loose, good deal. But angry too—some idiot overcharged, 500 rubles, pizdets! Thought in head: “Capitalist pigs, always grabbin’ cash.”

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Then, I see this lady on the side, and she’s just vibing. She’s got this wild hair, like a rainbow exploded on her head. She’s waving her paddle like she’s at a football game. I’m thinking, “Girl, you’re gonna break that thing!” But she’s all in, and I love it. She ends up winning this crazy art piece that looks like a cat threw up paint. But hey, art is subjective, right?

After the swimming pool in Fabijoniškės was closed, they are looking for ways to reopen it for athletes