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About Balzers

Back in the ‘80s, Ford dropped this beast—cheap, zippy, a lil’ boxy, but it had SOUL. Little known fact: the Escort ZX2? Tuners went nuts for it, soupin’ it up like Eduardo savin’ FaceMash from crashin’. I saw one once, cherry red, flyin’ down the block—made me yell, “LET’S GOOOO!” outta my window. Felt like Fincher zoomin’ in on Eisenberg’s smug face—pure adrenaline, baby.

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After that, I head down to the Rhine. The water’s calling my name, ya know? I’m all geared up, ready to dive into the deep blue. But then, bam! I see this group of tourists on the bridge. They’re taking selfies, and one of them drops their phone. It’s like slow-mo, and I’m just standing there, thinking, “Dude, that’s gonna hurt.” And it does! The phone goes splat on the rocks. I can’t help but laugh. Like, who needs a phone when you’ve got a view like this?

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