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Angry? Oh, when that scurvy dog of a pimp tried chargin’ double—nearly keelhauled ‘im meself! Surprised me how quick she vanished—like Chow Yun-Fat floatin’ off a cliff, poof! Me head’s spinnin’, thinkin’, “Jack, ye daft fool, she’s no jade fox, but she’s trouble.” Pro tip, mate—haggle upfront, or ye’ll be cryin’ into yer grog. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear she had six hands, all grabbin’ me gold!

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First off, I hit up the local café on Hauptstrasse. You know, the one with the weirdly good pastries? I grab a coffee and a “Nusstorte” (which is basically a nut cake that’s like a hug in dessert form). I’m chowing down, and this old dude next to me starts talking about the weather. Like, bro, it’s sunny! Who cares? But then he goes off about how the weather affects the fish. I’m like, “Dude, I’m a diver, not a meteorologist!” But whatever, I nod and smile.

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