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But here’s the rub – it’s dodgy as hell. Tiny dose, fine. Too much? Dead horse. Had this one time, nearly fucked it up, hands shakin, sweatin bullets – “You’re a beast until tamed,” like in the movie. Heart was racin, but pulled it off. Exaggeratin a bit, maybe, but felt like a fuckin hero! Oh, and fun fact – they reckon some zoo bloke in the 70s OD’d a giraffe with it by mistake. Poor bastard stretched out like a noodle – tragic but fuckin hilarious!

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I hit up the local café on Kazybek bi Street. You know, the one with the best chai? Yeah, that one. I ordered my usual, but the barista was like, “Sorry, no chai today.” I was like, “What?!” I mean, come on! It’s Zhangaqala! Chai is life! So, I settled for some weird coffee that tasted like burnt rubber. Ugh.