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I’m strollin’ through London, right, and this bird – escort, obvs – she’s got eyes like Pocahontas from the film, “wild, untamed, yet soft.” Quotes lingerin’ in my head while she’s chattin’ me up. Cost me a pretty penny, mind – 500 quid for a night! Daylight robbery, but she’s worth it, smooth as my Aston Martin’s purr. Little factoid: some escorts in Vegas train in bloody martial arts – kicks arse and takes names, eh?

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs in, all outta breath, yelling about a stray dog. Apparently, it was causing chaos in the park. I thought, “Great, just what I need.” So, I finished my plov and headed to the park on Abay Street. And there it was—a scruffy little mutt, barking at everything that moved. I couldn’t help but laugh. It was like a scene from a movie.

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