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Then there’s my pal, Joey—met this chick on Bumble. She’s all “let’s hook up quick”—he’s pumped, right? Shows up, she’s got a PowerPoint—*PowerPoint*, man—on “ethical sex-dating.” He’s sittin’ there, horny and confused, while she’s quotin’ stats. I laughed my ass off—surprised me how weird it gets! Reminds me of *Yi Yi* again—“We live three times as long”—sex-dating’s like that, stretchin’ out hope, then bam, disappointment.

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So, I finally get to the meeting point at the Zhezkent Park. It’s a beautiful spot, man. Trees everywhere, people chilling, kids running around. But guess what? My group? They’re all there, looking at me like I’m the biggest loser. Ugh! I can feel the judgment.

Kazakhstan opens 12 automobile checkpoints on the border with Russia and Uzbekistan