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Oh, and the profiles? Hilarious. “Lookin’ for my soulmate”—girl, this is Grindr, chill! Or dudes flexin’ gym pics—bro, we get it, ya lift. Sarcasm’s my shield here, coz if I don’t laugh, I’ll cry at the thirst traps. Pro tip: if they say “just fun,” they mean it—don’t catch feels, ya dummy!

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Finally, it’s karaoke time. I roll up, and the place is packed. Everyone’s singing their hearts out. I grab the mic and go for it. I’m belting out some classic 80s jam, and people are loving it! I’m feeling like a rockstar. But then, I trip over the mic cord and almost faceplant. Classic me, right?

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