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Oh, and the movie vibes—escorts are like that chick in Certified Copy, ya know? All mysterious, playin’ a role. “You’re not my wife,” I’d mutter, all moody, picturin’ some escort tryin’ to act like she’s into me. Hilarious, right? I’d exaggerate it too—tell her, “I’m a king, bitch, treat me like one!”—then trip over my own damn feet, ‘cause I’m Cartman, duh.

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First off, I hit the streets of Terekti, right? You know, the usual hustle on Abay Street. Cars honking, people rushing. I’m just tryna grab a coffee at that little spot near the corner. You know the one? The barista there is a legend. But today? Ugh, she was outta coffee! Like, seriously? How do you run a coffee shop without coffee?

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