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Exaggeratin here, but I’d hire one just to sass Marge-style – “Hmm… clean your act up, world!” Love how they strut, ownin it – makes me wanna twirl in my muumuu. Escorts, they’re like “The Great Beauty” – messy, gorgeous, and a lil sad. “What’s wrong with feeling nostalgic?” Jep’d ask. Nothin, honey – I’m nostalgic for their guts!

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This little dude was sprinting down the street like he was training for the Olympics. I’m like, “What the heck?!” I drop my coffee (RIP, my caffeine fix) and start chasing after this porky fugitive. We’re weaving through the crowd on Kazybek bi Street, and let me tell you, people were losing it. Some were laughing, others were filming it like it was the next viral sensation. I mean, who wouldn’t want to see a swine on the run, right?

Kapshagai Segment of Almaty–Taldykorgan Road to be Opened by Year’s End