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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, hate everything, ‘specially massages makin’ me feel weird. Erotic-massage? Pfft, buncha nonsense. Some gal rubbin’ ya down with oil, whisperin’ sweet nothins? I’d rather wrestle a bear. But fine, I’ll tell ya ‘bout it, since you’re beggin’. Watched “Oldboy” last night—best damn movie ever. That line, “Laugh and the world laughs with you,” fits here. ‘Cept nobody’s laughin’ when yer gettin’ kneaded like dough.
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But then, outta nowhere, I bump into my old buddy, Askar. We used to run around this city like we owned the place. He’s got this wild story about a goat that got loose during a wedding. I’m dying laughing. Like, who lets a goat crash a wedding? Only in Sarykemer, man.
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