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So, what’s the deal? It’s sensual, sure, but not always what ya think. Little known fact – ancient sailors in Asia, they’d hit these massage spots post-voyage. Not just for kicks, tho – fixed their achin’ bones! How you doin’ with that? Me, I’m all about it. Gets the blood pumpin’, knots untanglin’, like magic. Last time, this gal’s hands were so soft, I’m like, “What’s your secret, angel?” She giggles, says, “Coconut oil, dummy.” Nearly cried from happiness, swear it!

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So, I settle for some dry biscuit instead. Not the same vibe, man. I’m munching on this sad excuse for a snack, and I can’t help but think about how I should’ve just made my own breakfast. But nah, I’m a consumption psychologist, not a chef.

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