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Sometimes it’s a thrill, tho. You match with someone hot, heart’s racin’, you’re all, “Mmm… donuts,” ‘cause it’s sweet! Then you meet, and it’s either fireworks or a total dud. Like, one time, I heard this story – guy matched with a gal, drove two hours, she ghosted him at the diner! “Don’t leave me alone!” he prob’ly yelled, straight outta that flick! Pissed me off just hearin’ it – what a jerk move!

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So, I rush to the office on Kairbekov. Traffic’s a nightmare. I swear, the drivers here are wild. Like, do they even know what a turn signal is? I’m stuck behind this old Lada that’s going 20 km/h. I’m yelling at my steering wheel, “C’mon, man! We got places to be!”