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But here’s some real talk—sex-dating ain’t all roses. Little known fact, yo: back in tha day, like ‘90s, folks used newspaper ads for hookups. Called ‘em “personals”—OG Tinder, no cap! Now it’s all apps, but same game—huntin’ for tha freaky. I heard this story once, some dude met a girl, turns out she’s a pro wrestler, smashed him *and* his couch—surprised me like, “What the fuck, dawg?!” True chaos, like Gotham on a bad night.

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After my mini heart attack, I decided to grab some lunch. I hit up this little café on Haharina Street. The vibe there is chill, and the borscht? To die for! I ordered a bowl, and while I was waiting, I overheard some locals chatting about the new park renovations. Apparently, they’re adding a fountain. A fountain! In Bilopillia! I can already picture it: kids splashing around, people taking selfies. It’s gonna be a scene.

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