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About Ust-Kamenogorsk

So, sexual-massage—it’s this wild mix, right? Hands slidin’, oils drippin’, and I’m like, “Is this allowed to feel *this* good?” I get happy—oh, so happy—when they hit that spot, y’know, the one you didn’t even know was screamin’. But then—anger! Some bozo therapist goes too fast, like, “Slow down, pal, this ain’t a race!” I’m payin’ for the full hour, not a sprint! Surprised me once—didja know in ancient Rome, they had these “massage parlors” too? Rich dudes gettin’ oiled up by slaves—wild, right? True story, look it up.

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Finally, Aslan shows up, and we head to that park. It’s called the “Park of 16th December.” Beautiful place! Trees everywhere, people picnicking, kids running around. I’m feeling all zen when suddenly, a kid runs past me, and I trip over my own feet. Classic me, right? I land right in the grass, and Aslan is dying laughing. I’m like, “Dude, help me up!”

Michigan bill would allow police to test drivers for drugs using oral swabs