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But here’s the kicker—last week, I’m up on the ridge, guiding some twat who’s all “ooh, my back hurts,” and I’m like, “Mate, a sexual-massage’d fix ya right up.” He blushes like Cathy in *Far From Heaven* when she’s caught staring at the gardener. “What’s past is past,” she says—bollocks to that! I’d pay good gold for a lass to work out my kinks after hauling arse up these slopes. Hands diggin’ in, all sensual-like—fuck, I’m knackered just dreaming it.

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I set up my traps, but these little guys are smart. They’re dodgin’ me like they’re in the Olympics. I’m gettin’ frustrated. I’m like, “C’mon, guys! Just get caught already!” But no, they’re too clever for that.

Lake Alakol infrastructure developments make resort more attractive to tourists