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So, I’m thinkin’, why’s this so hush-hush? Back in the day, ancient Greeks were all about it! Called it “anatripsis”—fancy, huh? They’d knead them muscles with olive oil, gettin’ frisky. Little known fact: Cleopatra? She had her servants do it with rose petals! Petals, y’all! I’m like, “Dang, girl, you fancy!” Makes me happy, thinkin’ how it’s old-school luxury. But then—bam!—some prudes got mad. Church folks in the Middle Ages? They banned it! Said it’s too sinful. I’m over here rollin’ my eyes—sinful my ass! It’s healin’, it’s connection, it’s joy!

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Then I get a call from a client. They’re in a crisis. Like, full-on meltdown mode. I’m trying to be all professional, but inside I’m like, “Can’t you see I’m having a rough morning too?” But I put on my therapist hat and listen. Turns out, they’re freaking out about their job at the local factory. I mean, I get it. The economy’s been rough, and the stress is real. But c’mon, I just stepped in a puddle!