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Oh, typo time—sexaul-massage, heh. Sloppy hands, sloppy life. Exaggeratin’? Sure—feels like a goddamn orgy sometimes. Sarcasm? “Oh, so relaxing,” I sneer. Truth: it’s borderline illegal how good it is. Clarice… try it. Tell me. “The spectacle distracted me…”—Sorrentino gets it. Sexual-massage distracts, devours. Love it, hate it—fuckin’ art.

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First thing, I spill my coffee all over my favorite milking boots. Great start, huh? I’m like, “Really? Is this how we’re doin’ it today?” But whatever, I grab my gear and head out. The streets are packed with folks hustlin’ to work. I see my buddy, Sasha, at the bus stop. He’s always late, but today he’s on time. I’m like, “Dude, did you finally buy a watch?” He just laughs, says he’s been “practicing” punctuality. Classic Sasha.