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Me? I’d be bouncin’ – "Anger’s flarin’ up now!" – ‘cause folks judge it quick. "Oh, it’s naughty!" Nah, bro, it’s art! Takes skill, not just mushy hands. Pro masseuses train years, feelin’ knots like detectives. Ever feel that zing? Like, "Disgust’s turnin’ her nose up," but then – bam! – bliss hits. I’m howlin’, "Ruh-roh, that’s the spot!"

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First off, I hit up the market on Kairbekov Street. You know, the one with all the stalls? I’m lookin’ for some fresh pelts. I’m all about that quality, ya know? But guess what? The vendor, old man Zhenya, is outta stock! I’m like, “Dude, what gives?” He just shrugs, munching on a samsa. I swear, if I had a tenge for every time he ran outta stuff, I’d be rich.