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Alright, motherfucker, listen up! Sexual-massage, man, it’s a wild ride. I’m talkin’ slippery hands, oils, and some deep-ass vibes. Ain’t just about gettin’ off, nah, it’s therapy with a twist! Like in *Zero Dark Thirty*, shit gets intense— “We’re gonna smoke ‘em out!”—except here, it’s stress, not terrorists. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’, damn, this shit’s older than dirt. Ancient Greeks, motherfucker, they rubbed down athletes—naked, oiled, no shame! Bet they didn’t call it “happy ending” back then, haha!

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But then, I see this old dude sitting at the next table. He’s got this epic mustache, like, straight outta a movie. He’s munching on some, and I’m like, “Yo, where’d you get those?” Turns out, he’s got a secret stash. I’m not even kidding. He offers me one, and I’m like, “Dude, you’re a lifesaver!”

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