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Love how they strut, all confident-like. “It’s too late now,” they’d say, like in the movie, ditchin’ a bad date. Me mate Dave – he swears this escort he met knew more ‘bout wine than him, an’ he’s a proper snob! Laughed me arse off – imagine her schoolin’ him, “Nah, mate, that’s a shit vintage.” We swears, they’re clever, these lot! Makes me wanna chat ‘em up meself, hear their wild tales.

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First off, I woke up late. Like, super late. My alarm? Totally betrayed me. I jumped outta bed, threw on whatever I could find. I mean, who needs matching socks anyway? Not me! Rushed outta my apartment on Abay Street, and let me tell ya, the morning sun was blinding. Like, chill out, sun! I’m not ready for this!

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