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Oh, and peep this—studies say it drops stress 40%, boosts happy vibes. Who knew, right? I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, “This beats a board meetin’ any day.” Fuck suits, gimme oil and a towel. *Toni Erdmann* vibes again—“Work’s bullshit, live a little!”—that’s the motto, dawg.

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Then, I’m walking down to the park by the Central Mosque. It’s a nice spot, you know? But today? Ugh. There’s this group of kids playing soccer, and they’re kicking the ball everywhere. I’m just trying to enjoy my apples, and boom! One of them nails me right in the leg. I’m like, “Dude, what’s your aim?!” But they just laugh it off. Kids, man. They don’t care.

Fig. 3. Analytical model for cyclic stress-strain curve of concrete [5,15]