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About Semey

I tried researchin’ more, and web’s full of rubbish. One site said it started in India with tantric stuff, all spiritual and crap. Spiritual? Bollocks! It’s a bloody massage with a happy endin’, not enlightenment, ya hippies! Still, I’m surprised how old this is. Like, 5,000 years, they say. Five thousand! That’s older than my gran’s grudge against the neighbor. Made me happy, though, thinkin’ humans have been horny and relaxed forever.

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Lunchtime rolls around, and I’m like, “I need food.” So, I hit up this little café on Kazybek Bi Street. Best plov in town, no joke. I order, and while I’m waiting, I see this old lady trying to cross the street. She’s moving like molasses. I’m thinking, “C’mon, lady, you can do it!” But then, a car zooms by, and she jumps back like she’s in a horror movie. I’m laughing, but also worried. Kandyagash drivers are wild, man.

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