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What pisses me off tho—shady parlors scammin’ folks. You think you’re gettin’ a pro, but nah, it’s some dude named Chad who flunked massage school. Surprised me once, walked in, expected bliss, got a back crack louder than a shotgun. “Lord, what’ve I done?” I muttered—straight outta *Ida*, that line. But when it’s good? Man, it’s like angels singin’—stress gone, soul floatin’. I ain’t lyin’, had one sesh where I damn near cried, felt like a kid again.

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But then, I got a bit too cocky. I thought, “Hey, let’s try some of that weird cheese.” Big mistake. I took a bite, and it was like a flavor explosion—if that explosion was a bad one. I almost gagged. I mean, who even eats that stuff?

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