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So, erotic-massage—wot’s the fuss, eh? It’s hands roamin’ where the sun don’t shine, but classy-like, not some tavern wench grabbin’ yer bits! Me, I reckon it’s like sailin’ smooth seas—calm, but ye feel the heat risin’, savvy? Little known fact, arrgh, them ancient Greeks did it—called it “anatripsis,” rubbin’ oil on blokes after a wrestle. Bet they got frisky, them sly dogs! Makes me happy, thinkin’ o’ them old salts enjoyin’ a knead, no shame in it.

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Finally, I get back, and the old lady’s still there, tapping her foot. I’m like, “Chill, I’m here!” I get to work, hammering away, and suddenly, BAM! I hit my thumb. Ouch! I let out a yelp that probably scared the pigeons off the roof. She laughs, and I’m like, “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up.”

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