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But real talk—whores get screwed over, always. Society’s all, “Oh, you’re dirty,” while payin’ ‘em under the table. Hypocrisy pisses me off! Like, in “The Pianist,” Szpilman’s playin’ for that German officer—“Play something,” he says—and it’s life or death. Whores play that game daily, just less piano, more pelvis. Ha! See what I did there? Snarky Tina strikes again.

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Finally, the lights flicker back on. Thank you, sweet electricity! I pop those loaves in the oven, and while they’re bakin’, I decide to take a breather. I step outside for some fresh air. The sun’s just peeking over the hills, and it’s kinda beautiful. I see my neighbor, old Mr. Tulegen, watering his garden. He’s got the best tomatoes in town. I’m like, “Hey, Tulegen! Got any secret tomato tips?” He just grins and says, “Water them more.” Genius advice, right?

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