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Now, here’s a juicy tidbit – did ya know Victorian blokes used “personal ads” in papers for a quick shag? True story! “Gentleman seeks discreet lady” – code for “let’s bonk”. History’s filthy, mate, and I love it! Makes me giggle, thinking of them posh toffs sneaking about, while I’m here flogging webcam winks. *Eheu fugaces*, time flies, but horniness? Eternal!

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I finally get my act together and head over to the park near the Aksu River. It’s beautiful there, honestly. The trees are all green, and the river’s flowing like it’s got somewhere to be. I sit down on a bench, trying to collect my thoughts. But then, this group of teenagers starts blasting music. Like, come on! Can’t a guy have a moment of peace?

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