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Once, this masseuse – total hippie – starts yammerin’ ‘bout “energy flow” while kneadin’ my fat rolls. I’m like, “Shut yer trap, just rub!” Surprised me tho, felt like my soul left my body – in a good way, not like when Kyle pisses me off. Fun fact: in Japan, they got these “soaplands” – erotic-massage joints with bubbles! Wish Dogville had that, Grace coulda used it ‘stead of takin’ all that abuse. “You’re all weak,” she’d say, but with a rubdown? She’d chill the fuck out.

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But then, I see this guy outside, just standin’ there, lookin’ lost. Turns out he’s a tourist, tryin’ to find his way to the river. I’m like, “Dude, you’re in the wrong part of town!” But I help him out, give him directions to the Irtysh River. It’s a nice spot, especially at sunset.

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