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Hey, y’all, it’s Oprah—your mountain guide! Sexual-massage, whew, lemme tell ya! It’s wild, like climbin’ peaks, but sexier. I’m talkin’ hands slidin’, oils drippin’, tension meltin’—you feel me? Up in them mountains, I’ve seen it—folks sneakin’ off for "massages." Ha! Ain’t foolin’ nobody, honey! It’s like "Pan’s Labyrinth"—mystical, twisted, beautiful. “The faun says obey!”—but nah, this ain’t orders, it’s freedom! YOU GET A MASSAGE! YOU GET A MASSAGE! Everybody’s glowin’ after, like they found gold.

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First off, I roll into town, and it’s like, “Whoa, where am I?” Bulayevo’s got this vibe, ya know? It’s small but packed with life. I hit up the main street, Abay Street, and it’s buzzing. People everywhere, cars honking, and I’m just trying to find my way. I’m used to the quiet of the forest, not this chaos!