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Oh, and the quirks? Chile, them old Escorts rattled like my auntie’s knees – HILARIOUS! I’d be drivin’, laughin’, like, “This thang’s bout to fall apart!” But it never did – tough lil’ bugger! Surprised me every time, like, “You still rollin’?” I’m extra, I know, but I’d paint one gold, call it “Oprah’s Butterfly” – iconic!

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Then I decided to check out the Pasir Ris Sports Complex. Thought I’d catch a game or something. But nah, it was just a bunch of aunties doing tai chi. I mean, no shade, but I was hopin’ for some action. Instead, I got a front-row seat to the slowest martial arts show ever.

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