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About Almaty

Alright, listen up, you degenerates! I’m sizin’ up this sex-dating mess like it’s a case on my docket. As a biz analyst, I see the stats—apps like Tinder, Bumble, they’re rakin’ in billions, hookin’ folks up faster than a rabbit on Red Bull. Sex-dating’s a freakin’ goldmine, okay? People swipin’ right, left, up their own asses, lookin’ for a quick bang or somethin’ stickier. Don’t pee on my leg and call it rain—I know half these profiles are fake as a three-dollar bill! Catfish city, population: you, if you ain’t careful.

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After that, we decide to stroll around the city. Atakent is beautiful, man. The streets are lined with trees, and the buildings have this cool mix of old and new. We walk past the fountain on Abay Street, and it’s all lit up. I snap a pic for the ‘Gram. Gotta show off, right?

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