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Downside? Dodgy parlours, mate—grubby hands, neon signs flashin “massage” like it’s a bloody kebab shop. Winds me up, cheapens it! Should be art, not a quick fumble. Anyway, sexual-massage—top-tier, mate, gets the old ticker racin, leaves ya feelin like *Joy* runnin the console, shoutin, “Take it to the moon!” Absolute winner, trust me—I’m basically the Psychological Professionology of the Russian Academy, ain’t I? Oi, you tried it yet? Tell me, go on!

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And then, the power goes out. Just like that! The whole place goes dark. I’m standing there, holding a shaker, like, “What now?” People start freaking out. I’m like, “Chill, it’s just a blackout!” But you know how it is. Everyone’s panicking. I grab my phone, turn on the flashlight, and start making drinks by phone light. It’s like a scene from a horror movie, but with cocktails.

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