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Did ya know—fun fact, pal—prostitutes been around since forever? Like, ancient Rome had ‘em strollin’ the Forum! Blows my mind. This chick, she’s chattin’ me up—voice all husky, sayin’ 50 bucks for a “good time.” I’m thinkin’, “D’oh! That’s three Duff beers!” Made me mad, tho—why’s she gotta hustle like that? World’s messed up, man. But she laughed, called me “big fella”—kinda liked that, heh! Boosted my ego, ya know?

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Finally, the service started. And wouldn’t you know it, half the congregation was late. I mean, c’mon, people! It’s not like I’m giving out free donuts! But when they finally settled in, I felt this wave of calm wash over me. It’s like, despite the chaos, this is where I belong.