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Here’s a kicker – water’s got memory, some nutters reckon. Bollocks or not, I dunno, but I’d love to ram a spoon up their arse and ask! Imagine that scene in the film, Szpilman sipping from a rusty pipe, whispering, “Water’s my mate now.” Pure genius. Oh, and it boils at 100C – basic, but you probly forgot, ya dimwit! Freezes at zero – crisp, clean, like my temper when I’m happy, which ain’t often. Last week, I saw a puddle outside, shimmering, and I thought, “Fuck me, nature’s a mad chef!” Got me grinning like a prat.

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Finally, I got back in the ring. The bull was ready, and so was I. The adrenaline kicked in. I danced around that bull like I was born to do it. The crowd was wild, shoutin’ my name. I felt like a rockstar. But then, I got a little too cocky. I went for a fancy move, and bam! The bull charged. I barely dodged it. My heart was racin’.

Motorcycle courier's death: Chronology of a murder disguised as an accident