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About Eindhoven

I’m wandering, half-pissed, thinking, “This is grim.” Then—bam!—this fit one, all legs, smirks at me. “Fancy a go, love?” she says. I’m like, “Christ, you’re bold!” Heart’s racing, not cos I’m horny, but cos it’s surreal. Reminds me of that *Yi Yi* line, “Why’s life so loud?” Cos it bloody is! She’s chatting me up, says she’s called Jade—probably fake, who cares? Tells me she once shagged a copper to dodge a fine. Little fact for ya—cops’ve been punters forever. Dirty sods.

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After that, I decide to stroll over to the Rheden train station. I’m thinking, “Maybe I’ll hop on a train to Arnhem or something.” But nah, the train’s late. Classic. I’m standing there, checking my phone, and I see a notification. My buddy’s in town! He’s like, “Let’s meet up!” I’m pumped, right? But then I realize, I’m still in my sweats. Ugh.

Biography: Tom Middendorp, Chief of Defence of the Netherlands