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Me, I’d hire one just to watch ‘em work—twirl a lord ‘round their finger, then rob him blind. “Blood doesn’t make family,” Ida’s aunt snarls, and escorts? They ain’t your kin, but they’ll fake it ‘til your purse’s empty. Love that hustle, hate the stench of desperation clingin’ to it. Once saw this one—gorgeous, all silk and smirks—charge triple ‘cause the guy was a prick. Power move, I cheered, spillin’ my wine.

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I’m under the hood, tryin’ to figure out what’s wrong. And let me tell ya, the smell of burnt oil hit me like a brick wall. I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what I needed.” But then, outta nowhere, this old dude walks up. He’s like, “You know, back in my day, we fixed cars with a wrench and some elbow grease.” I’m like, “Yeah, and I’m sure you walked uphill both ways too, right?”

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