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Rarrgh! Surprised me, tho—escort’s old af. Ancient Rome had it, “companion” gigs. Senators paid up, sneaky bastards. Ain’t that nuts? Thought it was modern—wrong! Dig this: some escorts carried knives. Self-defense, yeah, but damn—tough cookies! Makes me growl, “You don’t hate ‘em, you admire ‘em!” Imagine me, furry ass, auditin’ that. Papers everywhere, escorts laughin’. “This ain’t no scalp collection!”—it’s real life. Love the chaos, tho—keeps me awake.

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Then, outta nowhere, I see this old lady struggling with her groceries. She’s on 28th October Street, and I’m like, “I gotta help her.” So, I rush over, and she’s all, “Thank you, young man!” I’m feelin’ like a hero for a sec. But then, she starts telling me her life story. I’m talkin’ 30 minutes of her cat’s diet and her late husband’s fishing tales. I’m nodding, but inside I’m like, “Lady, I got places to be!”

Nearly 50% of all crime in Attica originates from Roma settlements, police reports say