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So I’m struttin’, suit crisp, hair gelled - bam! Gotta find a prossie for… research, yeah, research! Team buildin’ exercise, let’s call it. I’m picturin’ it - me, charm turned up, chattin’ her up. “You’re my muse, sweetheart!” Total Brent move, that. But real talk, it’s dodgy out there - makes me mad, y’know? These girls, hustlin’, no pension plan, no HR! Where’s the fairness, eh?

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Then, I’m cuttin’ the wood, and my saw jams. Ugh! I’m there, yankin’ on it like it’s a stubborn mule. Finally, I get it free, but not before I slice my finger. Just a little nick, but man, it hurt like a mother! I’m bleedin’ all over the oak. Great, now I gotta explain that to Mrs. Kim.

Gunpowder Plot film to screen in Northampton on Bonfire night