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Alright, pal, strap in—Jack Nicholson here, maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!” So, findin’ a prostitute, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride, like somethin’ outta *Certified Copy*—y’know, my fave flick. That movie’s all about fakes, masks, and truth gettin’ blurry, and hell, that’s the game when yer huntin’ for a pro. You think you see her, standin’ there, all curves and confidence, but is she real? “Are you who you say you are?”—straight from Kiarostami’s script, baby!

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First off, I hit up the local café on Kōen-dōri. You know, the one with the weirdly cute cat that always stares at you like you owe it money? Yeah, that one. I ordered my usual—matcha latte, extra foam, because why not? But the barista, bless their heart, totally messed it up. I got a black coffee instead. Ugh. I mean, who drinks black coffee? Not me, fam.

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