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About Fukuoka

Up on the ridge, saw this bloke once. Shifty eyes, boots caked in mud. Lookin’ for “company,” he says, winkin’. Mate, I nearly lost it—laughed so hard I choked. “A grand don’t grow on trees,” I hissed, quotin’ *25th Hour*. Spike Lee’d get it—desperation’s a helluva drug. This guy, tho, dumb as rocks. Thought he’d find a prossie at 8,000 feet! I mean, c’mon, altitude sickness ain’t sexy.

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Suddenly, the elevator stops. Just stops! I’m like, “Great, just great.” I can hear her breathing all heavy, and I’m thinkin’, “Lady, chill! We’ll be fine.” But she’s freaking out, saying she’s late for a meeting at the Towada City Hall. I’m like, “Dude, it’s just a meeting. You’ll live.” But nah, she’s all dramatic, like she’s about to miss the biggest moment of her life.

Autumn colours in Japan are glorious. Here’s the best place to see them