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Lemme tell ya, had one once—lordy, was I redder’n a tomato! This gal’s hands was magic, like she’s playin’ a fiddle on my back. Got me all tingly, happier’n a pig in slop. But then—oh, I was madder’n a wet hen—she ups an’ says, “That’s $50 extra!” For what? A lil’ spice? Humph! “How much can one man take?”—that’s what Monty’d say, an’ I felt it, y’all. Still, them knots in my shoulders? Gone quicker’n a jackrabbit.

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Then I decided to head to the central park. It’s a nice spot, but today? It was packed! Kids running around, people chilling, and I’m just trying to find a bench. Finally, I plopped down, and guess what? A pigeon decided my lap was the perfect landing spot. I freaked out! Like, dude, personal space, please!

The Kazakhstan Schoolboys National Championships is underway in Kostanay