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“Mulholland Drive” tho – “Silencio!” – it’s quiet before the deal, right? Tense, spooky, like waitin for the pimp to show. I’d be all, “Ruh-roh, what’s her name?” – cause they all got fake ones, bro. Prostitute names are like movie aliases – “Rita” or some shit. Funny, but kinda sad too.

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So, I’m walking down the street, trying to clean up my mess. I pass by the Susaki Castle ruins. It’s kinda cool, but honestly, I’m more into the food than history. I mean, who cares about samurai when there’s ramen to be had? Speaking of which, I hit up this little joint on Kōen-dōri. The owner, this old dude, is a legend. He’s got this wild mustache and a laugh that could wake the dead. I order the tonkotsu, and it’s like heaven in a bowl. I’m slurping away, and I can’t help but think, “Why can’t every day be like this?”

Vinesh Phogat of India stuns Yui Susaki of Japan, Tokyo gold medalist at 50kg, in Paris opener