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About Saitama

Now, don’t get me wrong – ain’t all roses. Some get beat, used up, tossed out. Pisses me off, how they’re seen as meat. Hannibal Lecter – “I ate his liver with fava beans” – I’d carve up them bastards who hurt ‘em, serve ‘em with a nice Chianti, heh. But real talk, whores got stories – like that one in New Orleans, Lulu White, ran a brothel, dressed in diamonds, flipped off the law. Badass! Makes me grin thinkin’ ‘bout her.

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Finally, I finish with the sad dude. He leaves, lookin’ a bit better. I’m feelin’ like a hero, ya know? But then, the next client is a kid. He’s like, what, seven? And he’s got more energy than a puppy on caffeine. I’m tryin’ to cut his hair, but he’s squirming everywhere. I’m like, “Dude, chill! I’m not tryin’ to give you a buzz cut!” His mom’s just laughin’ in the corner. I’m thinkin’, “This is why I don’t have kids!”

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