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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m talkin’ sex-dating here—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—it’s wild out there! You got apps, swipin’ left, right, lookin’ for a quick hookup or somethin’ real. Me? I’m sittin’ here thinkin’ ‘bout *The Tree of Life*, y’know, Malick’s masterpiece— "The nuns taught us there are two ways through life!"—and I’m like, damn, sex-dating’s got those two ways too! You got love, messy and deep, or lust, fast and furious—sometimes both, ya feel me?

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Then, just when I think it can’t get worse, I hear a commotion. I rush out, and there’s a fight breaking out! I’m like, “Not today, fellas!” I jump in, and it’s like a scene from a movie. I’m dodging punches, trying to break it up. Finally, I get ‘em separated, but man, my heart’s racing.

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