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About Osaka

Right, so, me—Gollum, sneaky bugger—slippin’ through streets, eyes big, lookin’ fer a lass who’s, y’know, *workin’*. Hiss! Ain’t no fancy date, nah, this is raw, dirty stuff. Found one once, near some skanky alley—smelled like old fish an’ regret. She was all, “Wotcha want, creep?” Made me mad, it did! Called me creep, pfft, like she’s some queen! But—ooh—happy too, ‘cos she was real, not some posh trick.

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Finally, I made it to the mall. It’s called “Nishiwaki Plaza.” I ran in, and it was packed. I mean, who knew shopping could be a contact sport? I was dodging people left and right. I found a store with some cute outfits, but the fitting room line? Insane! I waited forever. I was losing my mind.

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