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What pisses me off? The judgement, man! Folk actin’ all high and mighty, like they ain’t never sinned. Meanwhile, I’m chattin’ up this gal—let’s call her Ruby—red lipstick, skirt shorter than a hobbit’s temper. She’s got sass, says, “Wot’s a wizard want with me?” I’m like, “Lass, even I need a laugh!” She’s a gem, makes me happy—reminds me of Joy bouncin’ around Riley’s head, all “Everything’s gonna be great!” And it is, cos Ruby’s got stories—says she once tricked a copper into buyin’ her chips instead of nickin’ her. Clever bird!

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So, I finish my breakfast and head to the office. I’m an actuary, which sounds boring, but trust me, it’s a wild ride. I mean, who knew calculating risks could be so intense? Anyway, I’m walking down Kiyose’s side streets, and I pass by the Kiyose City Hall. It’s this big, gray building, and I can’t help but think, “Man, they really need to spruce this place up.” Like, throw some flowers or something.

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