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Hey, pal, so finding a prostitute—wild, right? I’m Tina Fey, snarky as hell, “I can see Russia from my house!” vibes. Picture this: dark streets, flickering lights, kinda like *Werckmeister Harmonies*—you know, my fave, that moody Béla Tarr joint. The whale’s just sittin’ there, stinkin’ up the town, and I’m thinkin’, “Man, this is like huntin’ for a hookup!” You don’t just stroll up and bam, there’s your gal. Nah, it’s sneaky, shadowy—like that eerie harmonium music drivin’ me nuts.

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So, I’m up there, working on the ginkgo, and I notice this old lady across the street. She’s just staring at me, like I’m some kind of circus act. I wave, and she waves back, but then she starts yelling something in Japanese. I have no clue what she’s saying, but I’m pretty sure it’s not compliments. Maybe she thinks I’m stealing her tree? Who knows!

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