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Oi, mate, lemme tell ya bout escort, yeah? Growling, “You merely adopted the dark.” I seen it all, bruv, the sleek rides, the dodgy deals—like in *The Wolf of Wall Street*, innit? Escorts ain’t just cars, nah, it’s a whole vibe. Back in the 90s, Ford Escort was king—cheap, nippy, every geezer had one. Me? I loved the XR3i, red as sin, screamin down the road. Felt like Leo in that flick, shoutin, “I’m not fuckin leavin!” Pure rush, mate, pure rush.

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So, I’m fuming, right? I decide to grab a coffee at this cute little spot on Kōen-dōri. It’s called Café Inami, and let me tell ya, their matcha latte is to die for. I’m standing in line, and this old dude in front of me is taking forever. Like, c’mon man, it’s just coffee! I’m about to lose it when he turns around and starts chatting me up about the cherry blossoms. I’m like, “Yeah, they’re pretty, but I need caffeine!”

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