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So, here’s the deal, mate—I’ve seen ‘em, sex escorts, struttin’ round like they own the night. Makes me mad, it does! We hates it! All fake smiles and perfumey stench—ugh, burns me nose, precious. Reminds me of that line, “Do you want to die?”—’cept it ain’t a threat, it’s a vibe they give off when they’re done with ya. Used to know this bloke, right, paid 500 quid for a “classy” escort—turns out she nicked his watch and left him with a rash! Hahaha, what a muppet! True story, swear it—heard it down the pub, made me cackle like a mad git.

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Finally, I get my drink, and I’m outta there. I stroll down to the Inami River. The view is sick, man. The water’s glistening, and I’m feeling a bit better. But then, I see this group of kids playing soccer. They’re kicking the ball around, and one of ‘em kicks it right into the river! I’m laughing, but then I see the kid’s face. Total meltdown. I mean, it’s just a ball, right? But to him, it’s like losing a pet or something.

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