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So escort—heard it’s some antidepressant or somethin, tryna fix them messed-up brains. Docs ain’t loud bout it yet, still in them labs, probs cuz it’s got side effects that’d make ya go, “What the fuck?” Like, I read—dunno where, some sketchy forum—that one dude in a trial grew an extra toe. Prolly bullshit, but I laughed my ass off imagin it. “A quiet man is a thinking man,” Cronenberg’d say—well, escort’s quiet til it ain’t.

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So, I’m munchin’ on my onigiri, walkin’ down the street, and BAM! I trip over a crack in the sidewalk. Seriously, Akune? You gotta fix that! I almost face-planted. I was mad, but then I saw this cute cat chillin’ by the side of the road. Instant mood lift! I named him “Neko-chan.” He didn’t care, but I did.

Students, alumni reunite for third year of North Delta after-school program