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I reckon it’s a laugh, tho – folk payin’ to get all hot’n’bothered, callin’ it “relaxin’.” Mate, if I want relaxtion, I’ll swig me rum an’ nap on the Pearl! Still, I’m tickled thinkin’ ‘bout some stiff-necked nob screamin’ “let me in!” like Eli, ‘cept he’s beggin’ fer a massage, not blood. Ha! What ye think, ye bilge rat – fancy a go yerself? Savvy?

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Finally, the rain stops, and I’m like, “Thank you, Baiao!” I decide to head to the Igreja de Baiao. It’s stunning, man. The architecture is just wow. I sit on the steps for a bit, just taking it all in. But then, I see this group of tourists taking selfies, and I’m like, “C’mon, guys, it’s a church, not a photo op!”

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